A Little Som’in-Som’in

I have a beautiful little boy who I absolutely adore. He’s five months now and that’s incredible. Time is now moving at lightening pace. He’s learning all these new tricks and becoming so very cool. He has taken up such a huge amount of my time, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

But then there’s this other guy. This guy that I fell in love with. This guy who holds me up when parenting is hard. Who dotes on my little boy with all of his might. He changes nappies, gives baths, cooes over my son while he sleeps. He makes dinner at least 90% of the time AND he works full time so that I can stay at home with my son. This is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man I want to share my bed with long after the kids have all moved out of home.

Right now he’s missing out on me.

He’s cool about it. We have plenty of family time and we generally watch some crappy tv together once our son is asleep. We’re not ships passing in the night like so many other couples I hear about post-baby. But we aren’t exactly the same as we were beforehand either. I mean. Since baby was born I can count the number of time we’ve fallen asleep cuddling on one finger hand. I usually fall asleep wrapped around a baby rather than in his loving arms. And yet, rarely a complaint is heard – though hugs are regularly stolen!

I’m missing out, too. But that’s not such a worry to me because I am receiving so very much. From my partner, my son, my life in general is a waking dream. He tells me his is, too. And judging by the little notes he leaves around telling me how happy and in love he is I’m inclined to believe him.

Maybe he’s not missing out. Because as much as our relationship has changed, I don’t think that it’s been for the negative. He enjoys his life – I enjoy mine. We’re both living our happy lives. And I am so grateful he exists and that he’s happy and that I get to continue to love life with him. I like it when he’s happy. And because I love him so much sometimes I will spoil him without reason.

And today when he discovered that I’d bought him the guitar that he’s been eyeing up, and he damn near cried out of happiness, it was amazing. And I hope to get to spoil him for a long time to come.

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